DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do you gently decline Christmas invitations from a friend when the people they invite are all couples, and the women don’t really like you? We are all seniors.

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GENTLE READER: Why don’t they like you?

Never mind; that is none of Miss Manners’ business. Nor need it be mentioned when you simply express gratitude for the invitation and regret that you cannot accept.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Sometimes when I receive an invitation to an event, the sender writes “By Hand” in the lower right-hand corner of the envelope. Obviously, this means that they delivered the invitation to my house themselves, without using the postal service.

Is this a true form of etiquette? I cannot find a single reference to it in any etiquette book. It seems a bit pretentious to me

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