Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My sister “Talia” just called me up crying to tell me she discovered that her husband “Mark” had essentially ruined her family’s Christmas.

He blew the family Christmas budget on adult entertainment. Now she’s begging me to cover the cost of the toys they want to buy their two boys (5 and 7) because my income is significantly higher than hers and Mark’s combined. I’m torn here. Obviously, I don’t want my nephews to have their Christmas ruined and can afford what she’s asking, but at the same time, I don’t want to enable my terrible brother-in-law. Should I cover the costs this one time, or is it better to be a grinch and let Mark suffer the consequ

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