A WOMAN is confident that every failure or shortcoming in her existence is ultimately the fault of men.

After careful evaluation, Lucy Parry has decided that her unfulfilling job, inability to get on the property ladder and her toast burning this morning are all, when it comes down to it, because of the patriarchy.

She said: “Everyone knows the gender pay gap’s all down to selfish, sexist men. But I’m daring to think bigger.

“The traffic that made me late for work this morning? Guess who was driving the not one, not two, but three cars in front. The fillings I need? Because I’m grinding my teeth over men’s bullshit all the time.

“Phone battery low? Because they’re designed by men selfishly designed them with their gruff, masculine one-text-and-away power usage in mind, not women who kn

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