For hundreds of thousands of years, human beings have successfully raised children without help from algorithms, venture capital, or predictive text. But OpenAI CEO Sam Altman says he "cannot imagine" raising a newborn without ChatGPT, revealing either a stunning lack of imagination or a man so divorced from basic human function that even parenthood requires outsourced cognition.

Altman's quote came during an appearance on Jimmy Fallon's show, where he said, without a shred of irony, that he relies on the very chatbot he profits from to navigate the same task millions of people handle daily without collapsing into existential dependence on software. If the goal was to humanize AI, he somehow managed to dehumanize himself instead. Altman, running one of the companies our dysfunctional econ

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