Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

Last year, my daughter married a wonderful man, “Jeff.” The trouble is that Jeff’s mother, “Lynn,” is an insufferable woman. At the wedding, she got plastered and made a pass at my husband. Not just a pass—she came up behind him, grabbed his ass, and told him she could satisfy him a thousand times better than I could! I lost my cool and slugged her. She wasn’t seriously injured, but ever since then, my daughter and son-in-law have refused to have us in the same place.

Ordinarily, we’d all gather for the holidays. This year, they’ve said they’ll spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with Lynn and her husband, and next year they’ll spend the holidays with

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