SANDY SPRINGS, GA - Badly shaken eyewitnesses are providing disturbing reports that the "Singles Together" singles group of CrossBreeze Christian Church may be significantly less attractive than portrayed on the church's website.

"I clicked on the 'Singles Ministry' link, and I thought, 'This is amazing!'" said CrossBreeze visitor Trevor Hopper. "It looked like it could've been pictures from the launch party for Zendaya's perfume. Or a Fox News anchor luncheon."

But after being shown to the singles classroom at CrossBreeze, Mr. Hopper faced the shocking reality.

"I honestly thought they'd taken me to the wrong room," said Hopper. "I didn't know there were that many calf-length denim skirts left in America. I looked around really hard, and for a second, I thought I saw an 8 or 9 on the o

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