Penners Attempt to Outbreed Reimers

WINNIPEG, MB

In a bold move of solidarity, Penners across North America have pledged to do their part to have more babies than the Reimers.

“We’re sick and tired of the Reimers outnumbering us in the phone book and flaunting that fact at every turn,” said campaign leader Mr. P. Penner. “There’s no reason why, with a little ingenuity, we can’t have more Penners than Reimers by the end of the decade.”

In order to accomplish this feat, existing Penner couples are being asked to spend more time huddled together on cold winter nights, while single Penners and being told to find a partner…and !

“We’re hoping for a real cold winter this year,” said Penner. “The more our people are sitting around bored inside the house, the better it is for our population growth.”

In reaction to the perceived