DATING apps can be a confusing experience, so it’s good to be aware of coded euphemisms for ‘Just a shag, if you’d be so kind’. Here are the most popular ploys.

‘Looking for someone who doesn’t take life too seriously’

Basically means they’re seeking a woman whose life goals don’t involve marriage or children but do involve getting on his cock in the next 20 minutes. Tell him about your work problems or anything vaguely emotional or requiring his help and you’ve broken the terms of the deal.

‘Sapiosexual’

A word that should mean ‘immediately swipe left’. It refers to someone who’s attracted to intelligence, yet somehow has been adopted by any man who’s going to write four paragraphs explaining why he can’t love you – but can still ride you – because you’ve never seen Apocalypse Now .

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