Fentimans, and five other brands that are the same bollocks dressed up in twee packaging

THE brands we buy are a reflection of our identity so in purchasing these, you’re admitting you’re a credulous ponce who’ll pay over the odds for bullshit:

Fentimans

Pop manufacturer Fentimans have cornered the ‘twee Victorian pharmaceuticals’ market by selling in every art gallery. Though indistinguishable in taste from any supermarket cola, it’s glass, has unnecessary writing in a venerable font, and therefore looks less like being a cheap prick when you turn up at a friend’s party with a bottle of lemonade.

Bear Fruit Yo-Yos

Fruit Winders were trash for trashy kids, no better than congealed Fruit Shoots. But replace the neon colour palette with pastels, pop a silhouette of a bear on and suddenly fruity leather is the go-to snack for over-parented middle-class tots.

Cawston Press

A