WATERLOO-KITCHENER, ON

Tired of always taking a backseat to neighbouring city Kitchener, residents of Waterloo have successfully petitioned the Ontario government to change the name of the metro area from Kitchener-Waterloo to Waterloo-Kitchener.

“All those Mennonites in Kitchener think that just because K comes before W in the alphabet, that they’re so much better than us Waterluvians,” said Waterloo resident Martha Brandt. “I’m glad that Premier Wynne saw things our way for once.”

Left out of the conversation completely was the city of Cambridge, which, in recent years, has wedged itself in the middle of the name.

“We’ve always been the third wheel,” said Cambridge resident Adam Peters. “I tell you, we’re not going to take this Waterloo coup d’etat lying down. I’ve been talking to so

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