INDIANAPOLIS — Southern Baptists passed a resolution this week authorizing women to take on leadership roles in church ministry — provided it is, of course, the sandwich ministry.

"Women should not be prohibited from leadership positions," said SBC President Drake Donahue. "Because who else is capable of teaching our younger women how to make sandwiches? I can't do it!"

"I'm a man!"

Opponents of the resolution argued that a sandwich ministry is in no way authorized by scripture but did agree in debate that if anyone was going to run it — it ought to be the women.

The vote passed narrowly, with women and men in the convention voting against each other.

"They said they want the chance to be a pastor — well, now they can be a sandwich pastor!" said the head pastor of Grafted Branches Bap

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