MORDEN, MB

In the new reboot of the Jurassic Park franchise, producers have decided to set the movie in Morden and include the most intimidating villain of all time, a group of zealous fundamenalists trying to convince everyone that dinosaurs never really existed.

“The movie stars Scarlett Johansen as a Mordener desperately trying to defend Bruce the Mosasaur from the fundamentalists,” said screenwriter David Koop. “Things really come a head at a particularly heated church meeting.”

There are so many explosions of temper at that meeting, that audience are on the edge of their seats.

“I couldn’t figure out how Scarlett was going to escape the wrath of the elders,” said movie enthusiast Karen Wiebe. “They had every weapon at their disposal–fists on pulpits, leaflets on windshields–you na

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