A MAN still mentally classifies music from nearly a decade ago as new, fresh and unfair to expect him to have an opinion on.

37-year-old Tom Booker’s grasp of recency is so tenuous that if he hears Drake’s Hotline Bling or Zara Larsson’s Lush Life he is still a little bit proud of himself for knowing some of the chorus.

He said: “Ariana Grande, Beyoncé, Rihanna? These are all current artists still producing relevant music. Which means it’s essentially the present day.

“No, I haven’t listened to Lemonade yet but it’s on my list of albums to get round to. The singles are bangers, and just by saying that I’ve shown I’m into modern music and haven’t turned into my parents who desperately cling on to the tunes of their youth.

“Old music is stuff like the Beatles or Led Zeppelin. Not t

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