DEAR ABBY: A longtime friend of mine, “Barbara,” is kind enough to let me stay at her home when I visit her town a couple of times a year. She has another close (out-of-town) friend, “Helene,” who stays with her more often. Lately, it has become apparent that Helene is our complete political opposite, so much so that I no longer feel comfortable being around her.

Because our visits often overlap, my first impulse is to make arrangements to stay elsewhere. However, I don’t want to offend Barbara, who denies that Helene is an extremist, despite evidence to the contrary. Is there any graceful way to ask Barbara to alert me if Helene will be around so I may make other lodging arrangements? -- AVOIDANT OUT WEST

DEAR AVOIDANT: Because your friend Barbara continues to deny that Helene is an ext

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