Family Beef is our family and relationship advice column at HuffPost Family. Have a beef you want us to weigh in on? Submit it here .

Dear Family Beef,

My wife (43) and I (44) have been together for 11 years, married for three. We’ve always had a pretty consistent sex life, with a few slower or less active periods over the years: when our kids (6 and 9) were always sleeping in our bed, when my mother got sick, when my wife had a fracture. But they always felt like understandable circumstances where sex wasn’t the priority. I had my hand; it was fine. Outside that, we’ve stuck with once a week or more pretty consistently.

In this past year, we’ve had sex maybe four or five times. I am the one to initiate most of the time, and it feels like it wouldn’t happen if I didn’t. She says she’s

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