How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here . It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I am a man in my early 60s who has been suffering from erectile dysfunction for around a year now. Medications have been somewhat helpful, but the problem seems to be worsening. What hasn’t helped is that my wife has been less than supportive.

She has this bizarre notion that I am somehow doing this on purpose to deny her sex. Now she’s saying that if I don’t resolve the problem, she is going to get what she needs elsewhere. Needless to say, the threat of my wife cheating on me doesn’t help the situation. How can I get her to understand that what’s going on with me isn’t my choice?

—Dead Dick

Dear Dead Dick,

From what you describe, this

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