Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here . (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Pay Dirt,

My husband and I live in a very high cost area. I am currently unemployed in a highly competitive field, though with many promising prospects that could coalesce in the next few months (or not! we live in unprecedented economic times!). His very low six-figure income supports us both, plus a special needs pet.

The thing is, he wants us to buy a house. My husband is tired of renting, which he considers “paying off someone else’s mortgage,” and wants to get serious about buying a home. His family has offered help with a down payment, but has never offered any solid numbers. Our area has first-time-homeowner programs, some of which our friends have use

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