WASHINGTON, D.C. - Following the State of the Union address in the Capitol building, D.C. area hospitals were promptly overrun by hundreds of geriatrics whose knees buckled under the pressure of constant standing ovations.

Dr. Drake Rodriguez, a veteran of George Washington University Hospital, had never seen anything like it. Hundreds of elderly men and women poured into his ER last night with broken hips and knees. Many screamed in agony. Others could only move their eyes back and forth, faces frozen by a mask of artificial beauty.

According to sources, the hospital staff was immediately overwhelmed thanks to a combination of the sudden influx of patients and the fact that over half of their staff had been let go for not getting vaccinated against COVID-19.

And then Dr. Rodriguez real

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