Jesus was definitely a conservative, Republican capitalist. It's written all over the pages of Scripture. Sure, you might have to read between the lines a little bit, but that's what the Christian life is all about.

So after consulting with several MAGAchurches and their pastors, we distilled the thousands of indisputable proofs that Jesus was a hardcore conservative to the strongest 10:

1.) When He rebuked the money changers in the temple for not making even more profits - Jesus entered the temple and started flipping tables, a powerful statement to the money changers that they weren't earning enough profits for their shareholders.

2.) When He stopped Peter from using a sword and instead handed him an AR-15 - Jesus gently pushed Peter's sword away in the Garden and told him to use

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