WINNIPEG, MB

Citizens of the Manitoba capital have been deeply distressed by the ever-increasing crack problem within the city’s Mennonite population this summer. The problem came to a head this week after a huge quantity of crack was discovered in the stands of a North Kildonan baseball diamond.

“Enough is enough! We’re not going to just bend over and take it!” said Constable Thiessen. “Let me tell you, we’re going to get to the bottom of this!”

Experts are saying a suspender shortage this spring has led to a huge increase in Mennonite crack on city streets.

“It’s not just the journeymen plumbers. Even the are having an issue with crack!” said Thiessen. “Whether farmers, labourers, or bargain hunters at the MCC, Mennonites tend to do a lot bending over and picking up of stuff…and this

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