WINNIPEG, MB

Linguists at the University of Southern La Crete have finally uncovered the hidden language behind the incessant honking of horns heard in cities across Canada: Low German.

“I know it may sounds like incoherent noise pollution to you, but it’s actually a sophisticated language,” said Professor Larry Bickert. “Two short honks and a long blare means ‘Trudeau is such a ,’ while three shot beeps followed by an audible fart through a loud speaker means ‘ devil , I hate masks!'”

Bickert figured out the code while watching the noisy trucks cruise down the highway from the border to the city.

“I call it the Morris Code,” said Bickert, “since that’s where I first unlocked the mystery.”

Other messages uncovered by Bickert include five quick toots of the horn which means, ‘could you

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