U.S. — In a bold new attempt to win the 2024 election against Biden, candidate Mike Pence has decided to alienate all 80 million voters who voted for Donald Trump.

"It's about time someone had the courage to say it, so today I will say it: Trump is bad," said Pence to a raucous crowd of 12 seniors in the activity center of Shady Oaks Retirement Home. "If that hurts my chances with the tens of millions of people who voted for him, so be it. I am a stalwart man of integrity. Just look at my kind eyes and serious face."

Pence then looked directly into the camera with a look of integrity.

Sources within the Pence campaign confirmed Pence plans to make up the loss in support by courting Biden voters and convincing them he is not a bigoted Nazi fascist homophobe. "We have faith in the virtuou

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