How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I am a straight male, in my mid-60s, and married to a straight female in her mid-50s. We’ve been married for about 20 years, and have always had a very happy and successful relationship. Even now, we are still very physically active, healthy, and, I think, attractive. Our sex life in the past has always been passionate and intense. She has pretty much always been a twice-a-week girl, whereas I would love it every day, but she has always been wonderful in keeping me happy. Often, we would masturbate beside one another, something that is a huge turn-on for me. Sex was an important and very pleasurable part of our relationship.

However, we’re now dea

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