Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My husband and I have an almost 3-year-old son who is going through potty training and doing quite well. The trouble is that bodily functions have since become his favorite topic. We will be hosting Thanksgiving for both our families, and I have no doubt he will be eager to regale everyone with descriptions of his latest bathroom creations. I want to be encouraging of him in his progress, but would rather not have him share this while everyone is eating (my husband’s parents and sister are perpetual ass-clenchers). How can I thread this needle?

—No Toilet Talk on Turkey Day

Dear Toilet Talk,

Easy: Put whoopee-cushions on everyone’s seat. Make it

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