NEW BRAUNFELS, TX — A large Venezuelan gang was completely wiped out this week after trying to take over a local Buc-ee's location.

According to eyewitnesses, the gang, which was formerly based in Denver, had grown too confident after finding it incredibly easy to take over several apartment complexes. The violent criminals were soon put in their place when they marched on a Buc-ee's, guns blazing, only to find themselves greeted by a world-class force of polite employees, roasted nuts, savory pulled pork, delicious fudge, and heavily armed Texans.

"They never knew what hit them," recalled Shawn Erickson, who had stopped at the Buc-ee's and saw the entire shootout. "They rolled up and tried to start pushing people around and take control of the place. The lead guy barely got half of his

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