AUSTRALIAN teens are the first demographic to be banned from social media, but they shouldn’t be the last. These six have no right to intrude on your evening doomscroll:

All teenagers

Banning Australian teens is an admirable step towards ridding the world of bullshit, but the global community needs to go further. Limiting social media access by removing anyone under 20 will encourage kids to pursue wholesome activities from yesteryear, such as drinking cider in the park and getting pregnant. A better world, without Snapchat, is available.

Your ex and her new man

She’s blocked your actual account but you still see her on your alts, laughing with him, holding him. You could stop looking or move on emotionally but you’re not strong enough to do either. The only logical option left is for

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