NIGEL Farage should be glad of my support. I’m practically a household name, I have a strong work ethic, and I’m not out of touch with young people, many of whom I have f**ked.

I feel I could be a huge asset to Reform with my talent for self-promotion and sleeping with horrible men. Would I consider having sex with 1,000 Reform members for the publicity? Yes I would, if the money’s right and the old gits can get it up.

Also I am much hotter than celebrity Labour supporters. Eddie Izzard looks like he’s sucked a few cocks in his time, but I doubt anyone would pay to watch it. Maxine Peake is quite fit but she’s really old. She should do an OnlyFans, lots of guys are into mature MILFs.

I think I’d be good at explaining Reform’s policies too. They’re right we should have less tax because t

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