COOPERSTOWN, NY

Move over Curt Schilling. For the second time in the last ten years, the Baseball Hall of Fame has decided that absolutely no one except for a Warkentin from Rosenhof was worthy of induction.

“We searched long and hard for someone that hadn’t pumped themselves full of ‘roids and the only name that came up was Kjnels Warkentin from Rosenhof who played fifteen games at short stop for the 1978 Scratching River church league softball champions the Rosenhof Hofers,” said baseball commissioner Rob Mennofred. “Hey, you know, he never played professionally, but he did consume a hell of a lot of .”

Warkentin’s record-setting pile of sunflower seeds aided his Hall of Fame candidacy even though his .185 batting average was less than stellar.

“Hey, sometimes it’s about more than ju

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