What is “fawning” and how can it hurt your career?

Fawning is a survival mechanism that develops in response to trauma—a fourth response alongside the better-known fight, flight, and freeze reactions. Psychotherapist Pete Walker defines fawning as “a response to a threat by becoming more appealing to the threat.” When we fawn, we mirror others’ desires, suppress our own needs, and prioritize external validation to maintain safety. This isn’t simply people-pleasing or codependency—it’s a physiological trauma response that develops when fight or flight aren’t viable options.

Recognizing the signs: are you fawning at work?

For some fawners, it’s hard to identify their fawning because they’re just “meeting expectations” and in that context, fawning looks an awful lot like success. We pursue these paths, in part, because success is safety. It