STEINBACH, MB

A local unlicensed folk chiropractor is receiving praise throughout southeast Manitoba for his ability to knacke out absolutely any problem one might have. After keeling over with pain in the grocery aisle, local man Don B. Penner made sure to visit the only man on earth who could fix his problem.

“Oh, , Mr. Pankratz is the best medical practitioner on this side of the Red River,” said Penner. “He s and like no one else yet.”

“Dr.” Pankratz, who isn’t educated or actually a doctor of any sort, but just a guy who likes to touch people’s backs, claims to be able to cure everything from back pain and gout to ulcers and herpes all with a simple or two.

“I guess you could say he’s like a Mennonite witch doctor,” said Penner, “except we don’t believe in that sort of thing,

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