Self-soothing advice is all over the internet, much of it in the form of warnings to avoid potentially damaging sorts like “shopping therapy ” or bingeing on Ben and Jerry’s, or worse, vodka martinis. Instead, experts suggest using the “good” ones, which seem to run the gamut from stimulating your vagus nerve to hugging yourself. Among the University of Miami’s recommendations to faculty and staff in their current summer newsletter is “tapping.” One YouTube video suggests that viewers bounce “10, 20, 30 times” when you are upset, such as after a heated exchange with a noisy neighbor or getting bad work news that feels like a body blow.

Techniques like these do seem helpful for “ emotional regulation ,” as the professionals say. But I sense that they work best for people who’ve had s

See Full Page