ISRAEL has officially recognised Cornwall as an independent country and its cream teas as superior to all others, it has informed the UK.

The country has unilaterally accepted Cornish claims to statehood and will from now on only accept communications about it that are in the Cornish language and written on the back of a big pastie, or for longer communications a boogie board.

An Israeli spokesman said: “The British government has ignored Cornish’s right to be an independent state for far too long, simply because of its residents’ accents.

“Israel, one of the world’s foremost experts in recognising the sovereignty of international borders, has decided enough is enough and it must act to protect threatened institutions like Fat Willy’s Surf Shack and the Minack Theatre.

“No longer will

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