BEIJING - Chinese President Xi Jinping has reportedly looked on Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's handling of Canadian protesters with surprise, describing it as "monstrous" and "heavy-handed."

"I'm shocked by Trudeau's horrific mistreatment of his own people," said President Xi Jinping while helping himself to a jar of honey. "He's being very heavy-handed with these protesters. It's shameful!"

Xi, who polices his own people for thought crimes, suggested that Trudeau try a more subtle approach. "I'm constantly throwing people in prison," he said. "But I do so discreetly while silencing anyone who speaks of it."

"Please understand," he continued. "I believe he should throw them all in camps to make shoes for the Americans. But he's openly criticizing them - giving their cause a voice."

"I

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