NEED to steer the conversation away from how Reform UK’s former leader in Wales took Russian bribes, in case the electorate hears? Follow this step-by-step BBC guide.

Step one: Ignore

Just like a pesky bee, incriminating news stories about how Nathan Gill pleaded guilty to eight counts of Russian bribery will go away if you ignore them. Addressing the situation will only irritate the media and millionaires who have decided Farage is our next prime minister, so continue to maintain the neutrality of total silence.

Step two: Downplay

Forced to fill up airtime on a slow news day by reporting on a pressing political scandal? Detail it in the breezy, dismissive tone usually saved for light relief stories, such as the skateboarding dog that saved a hospital. ‘And finally, you’ll never guess

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