How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here . It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I’m a 46-year-old, bisexual woman who is 10 years older than my partner. I have a ton more experience and kinks than him.

I’ve had to let the kinks go because it’s not in his nature. He’s also small compared to previous partners. He doesn’t have a micro penis, but it’s below average. You could say I was a size queen, as I used to only look for partners on the large end of the spectrum before I met him. I was also non-monogamous for five years before him. I had girlfriends, boyfriends, threesomes, and moresomes. It’s been eight years, and there’s no kink, no women, only one threesome, and a small penis.

I’m sad about all of this all the tim

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