AN extra hour in bed is small consolation for the dreariness of standard time. These are the steps you will work through as you adjust to omnipresent darkness.

Denial

Surely it can’t be barely 4pm and already looking this bleak? There must be an error with your highly technologically advanced phone and every other infallible digital device. Perhaps it’s just very cloudy today, or maybe an immersive theatre experience is putting on a play about the Great Smog. Winter can’t have come yet; normal, slightly less shit weather will resume soon.

Hating farmers

Your brain has ruled out migrants and benefits scroungers, but surely someone must be to blame for this antiquated time-f**kery? Then you remember that clocks only change because farmers needed to milk their cows at stupid o’clock durin

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