EXHAUSTED by all the sex you’re getting? Start living like a monk by asking your barber for these hairstyles.

Bowl cut

Despite being practical, the sex appeal of the bowl cut remains nonexistent. Generations of nerds have persisted with trying to make this haircut work by insisting that women look past it and focus on their personalities instead. Unfortunately anyone with a bowl cut is a socially inept weirdo with an exhaustive knowledge of Blake’s 7 , meaning they don’t even get a handjob.

Mullet

Even in the Eighties the mullet was a risky move when it comes to getting laid. Pair it with a Lamborghini Countach and a pastel jacket with the sleeves rolled up and you could be in there. Sadly, if you try any of that shit today you’ll be slinking back home alone to perform an online age

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