Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. For this edition, Tony Ho Tran , a Slate senior editor, will be filling in as Prudie. Submit questions here. (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Prudence,

I am a queer man of color in my mid-20s. I grew up in a mostly white, conservative, rural town. It was hellish growing up there, dealing with constant microaggressions, racism, and homophobia. Even though I was not out of the closet at the time, I was constantly clocked as being gay and ridiculed as a result. Despite this, I had some incredibly close friends who were a godsend during that time. I eventually escaped to a progressive city, which I am quite happy to be in, and I have never looked back.

After a lot of therapy, I realized how damaging being in that environment was, and I have sh

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