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Jonathan Bailey is the sexiest man alive. In other news, water is wet and U.S. democracy is in serious trouble. Yes, People ’s decision on Monday to bestow their annual, no doubt highly scientific Sexiest Man Alive honor on the 37-year-old British heartthrob from Wicked seems so patently obvious—so deeply self-evident—that staff at the magazine (which has drawn fire in the past for some deeply questionable choices) smugly patted themselves on their backs. “We know,” read a sub-heading on twin People covers showing Bailey smoldering in the ocean and hugging his dog while shirtless. “We nailed it.”

The selection of Bailey isn’t surprising for a slew

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