U.S. - According to sources who dared to peek their heads outside this morning, God's brilliant creation is moving on after a long and difficult winter. It has been reported by several dirt-embedded journalists that flowers are continuing to bloom in a bright array of dazzling colors in spite of state governors' clear instructions to shut everything down. In addition, trees are sprouting leaves without any concern for clear state directives.

"Even the sun, in a callous display of insensitivity, is shining brightly," said CNN reporter Deebles McNarderson. "It's as if the sun is completely unaware that we are in a national crisis. Many critics are saying clouds would be much more appropriate at this unprecedented moment in our history."

Atheists are also up in arms over the fact that all o

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