ST. LOUIS, MO - Local deaf man Robert Sloan thought the Children's Church Choir gave a really nice performance this morning of "I Am A Child Of God."

"Wow, they did great," Sloan signed to his wife Sharon, whose ears were bleeding. "I'm so impressed."

According to sources in the congregation, the Children's Choir failed to sing a single note in tune throughout the performance, delivering one of the most painful performances in recent memory. "It was so bad, I couldn't even look at them. I just picked out a spot on the carpet and hung on for dear life," said parishioner James Carston. "If you weren't looking at them, it sounded like a baby goat was being mauled by a pack of howling coyotes. It was physically painful."

While the men of the congregation panned the performance, the women ma

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