WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to sources within the Senate, Democratic legislators took a short break from their tireless schedule of lecturing the nation about compassion Monday in order to vote against a ban on the barbaric practice of ripping helpless 20-week-old babies limb from limb and pulling them from the wombs of their mothers.

The Democratic Caucus unanimously agreed to resume their moral lectures on the plights of such groups as foreign immigrants to the United States, the LGBT community, low-income earners, and others whom it has deemed victimized, after successfully focusing all but three of its members' attention on perpetuating the wholesale genocide of a completely defenseless group of people by way of dismembering unborn babies who are capable of feeling pain.

"We had to

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