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Every December, stressed-out parents joke about it. A defiant toddler scribbles on the wall and suddenly someone mutters, “Santa’s bringing you coal this year.” For generations, the threat has been part of American holiday folklore, a little fear-based nudge toward good behavior.

But for modern parents drowning in holiday pressure and end-of-year burnout, is giving coal actually harmless discipline, or something that could cause lasting emotional harm?

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According to parenting coach and child psychologist Mariana Pérez Borrero , the tradition is far from harmless. “In my experience as a child psychologist, it's outdated,” she said. “It's based on fear. It's based on fear-based control. It's

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