LANCASTER, PA

In reaction to the recent increase of people being nice and friendly and sticking to the rules, the predominantly Amish city of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, has decided to elect dystopian author George Orwell as mayor. Already years ago, the city installed dozens of security cameras in public places, but Orwell feels these efforts are insufficient.

“We need to get into people’s homes,” Orwell said, in his first address as city mayor, “to keep tabs of all the nice and pleasant things the Amish and Mennonite people are doing in private.”

Orwell, author of classic novels and says people have often misinterpreted his works as warnings against totalitarianism, instead of seeing them as the how-to guides that they are.

“I’m glad that Lancaster has already used so many of my ideas,

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