THE decision to award the Nobel Peace Prize to a Venezuelan has been designated an act of war by the United States.

Ignoring nuances like the winner’s opposition to the Venezuelan regime and the prize not being decided based on submissions received in the last 24 hours, the US has announced the award is a deliberate hostility and will be treated accordingly.

General Steve Malley, commander of the US Army, formerly host of Get The Bastards Live on Fox News, said: “Is the prize on a boat? We blow up Venezuelan boats. Well, we say they’re Venezuelan.

“It’s decided by Norway, which may not border on the US but I notice does border on Russia. We have a friend in Russia I’m sure would be happy to help.

“In truth it seems kind of tough to decide exactly who we’d be making war on for this bu

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