SAN DIMAS, CA-Local high school freshman Pete Slater expressed disappointment this week as he was unable to locate an affable, slightly goth loner who could show him around the school cafeteria and point out where various social groups sit.

"I have no idea where the dweebs, the band nerds, the sports jocks, the drama freaks, the stoners, the preps, the vampire hunters, any of them sit," Slater commented to friends. "Where is the disgruntled yet kindly guy in the felt hat named Benny or something who's supposed to come tell me what tables in the cafeteria all these groups sit at?"

Slater wandered around the cafeteria during his lunch break, doing his best to identify for himself where all the social cliques were sitting. "I think those are the drama losers, but I can't be sure. Maybe they

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